Yup that’s where I am at right now. Grieving. I’m going to admit it, wallow in it, walk through it, pray through it, scream through it if I have to, and do whatever else God-affirming thing I need to do to get through it. And I am going to share it. Why? Because other people need to know they are not alone in their grief.
My mom passed away May 26, 2026. She died after a long battle with Alzheimer's disease. I spent 12 years taking care of her. It gave me a lot of purpose and joy. While it also gave me sadness, struggle, and many other difficult things that go along with a long-suffering disease. Ultimately, I was just grateful to have her with me 10 more years than I would have expected. What's hit me hard is that I thought because I'm so grateful she's not suffering any longer, and that she's in Heaven with Jesus, that I wouldn't feel bad, or that I wouldn't really grieve. But man, losing her has hit me like a ton of bricks this week especially. I reminded myself that I'm allowed to grieve, that it's a process. That it takes time, and that I don't have to pretend that I'm OK when I'm not.
If I'm being honest, I'm getting a double whammy of grief because almost a year ago my husband and I moved from Florida to Texas. It has not been the easiest of roads. But one that I know God has my husband and I clearly on. I realized that I have also been grieving the loss of my church friends and friends that I've had most of my life. I know of course they're still my friends, but it's different. I don't see them at church. I don't meet my friends for coffee or see them weekly. I miss the people who have walked beside me for ten, twenty, and forty plus years.
God has reminded me that I'm allowed to grieve, but I'm not allowed to get stuck in it. I have to walk through it. I must pray through it. And that God is there with me through it all.
A hard truth smacked me in the face the other day. Afterall, I've been praying for a new life in Texas. I've been asking God to bring us our dream home, and to be close to family, and to have new friends. And also if I'm being honest, I asked that God would take my mother because I didn't want to see her suffer any longer. So, God is actually answering my prayers, but not necessarily in the way I had expected it all to go. Ouch! Now that’s a wake up call!
When people die or go away it has a huge emotional impact on us that doesn't just go away overnight. We are allowed to grieve and give ourselves permission to do so. It's a process that has to happen in order to be healed and to move forward in life. God reminds us through scripture that we are not alone; that He walks with us and that He provides angels. He provides friends, He provides people, He provides rest, HE PROVIDES! Holy Spirit power is strong when we are weak.
In 2 Corinthians 12: 8-10 ESV, Paul talks about having “a thorn in his flesh,” a burden harassing him. Something that was hurting Paul repeatedly. Paul asked God to remove it. But God refused to remove it. And God says, “my grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Through our weaknesses, God becomes more powerful. He provides his strength through the Holy Spirit, and he doesn't always take away our pain away when we think He should or how He should. Just like in this instance with Paul, He hasn't taken away the pain for Paul, but He provides a way through it by and through God's power. In verse 10, Paul even goes so far as to say for Christ he is “content with his weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak then I am strong.”
God's Kingdom doesn't work exactly the way the world works. It's often opposite of what we think. If nothing is wrong in our life and everything's going great, and we're not suffering and we're happy, then our life is good. But here Paul somewhat turns this on its head saying he is content with the struggles and the hardships and the grief and the pain because it's for Christ. It's not anything that Christ hasn't suffered either. Jesus suffered through all sorts of pain and struggles and temptation, but it was not for nothing. It was for the redemption of human beings. It was for love, restoration, redemption, salvation and more.
So, whatever it is that you're grieving today, please know that you're not alone. Please know that you're allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to let yourself go through the process. Depend on Christ to get you through it even if it's every minute of the day. Turn to him, turn on worship music, sing, read scripture, spend time with Him, call a godly friend, do whatever it is that you need to do to stay focused on Christ to get through the grief. Turn to God and He will never let you down; He promises to never leave us or forsake us.
Father, I just want to pray to you right now. I am askingfor healing in my own life Lord. I need your restoration; I need your goodness; I need your Holy Spirit power in my weakness from the loss of friendships, and from losing my sweet Mama. Lord, I lift up anyone else who's reading this Lord. Would you bring healing to their heart? Would you let them grieve? Would yousit by them, and stroke their hair, and hold their hand, and tell them it's OK as they go through a deep sorrow of losing someone or something that is very dear to them? In your holy name Jesus Christ we pray and we thank you for the healing that we know is coming because you're faithful and you always keep your word and your promises. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
Be Blessed,
Allison
